How to Set Up The MAGIC MOMENT in Your Home:
The Magic Moment provides the key to developing close, trusting relationships with each of your children on a one-to-one basis. You might say, “I just don’t have 15 minutes per week to spend with each child,” but in reality, if you don’t spend this time with your children proactively, I guarantee you will spend double that time in damage-repair later in life. So take a look at this simple idea for getting to know your children as real and valuable people, with no hidden agenda, just “I’m glad you’re my kid!” in your heart.
- Set aside 15 – 30 minutes per week when you will spend private one-to-one time with each child in your family. This is each child’s “Magic Moment” with you or your spouse.
- No other children in the family are to be a part of this special time. Arrange for your spouse, a friend or a babysitter to care for the other children during this time.
- Say to your child, “This is our special time to be together. It is our Magic Moment – just the two of us. Let’s . . . (read a book, build with Legos, work a puzzle, ride bikes, go out for an ice cream cone, etc.)” Select an activity that your child will enjoy, but nothing too elaborate.
- Do not take over the activity. Do not give commands or reprimands, unless absolutely necessary. Do not answer the phone or doorbell. This is a time to enjoy being with your child.
- Do make simple, sincere and positive comments to your child related to specific character qualities, desirable behaviors or helpful attitudes which he/she has shown in the previous few days. (“I really appreciated your help cooking spaghetti last night. Thank you. Or, “I was impressed with how you brought your grades up in reading and math on your report card this term. I am so proud of how hard you worked studying for tests.”)
- Do leave quiet moments and periods of silence so you can really listen to your child during your Magic Moment.
- Do end the Magic Moment on time, and on a happy note. Say, “I really enjoyed spending time with you tonight. Shall we plan another Magic Moment next week?”
- Do schedule the next Magic Moment with each child in advance. Write it on the calendar and keep the appointment just as faithfully as you would a doctor’s appointment.